This story is by Nathalie.  This also happens to be the first birth I ever attended, and got to witness!  I had the pleasure of serving as Nathalie’s birth photographer.  Today, baby Darci celebrates her 4 month birth day…

Let me start off by describing myself just a little. I’m a moderate person. By Texas standards, I’m pretty hippy-ish, but in reality I’m very much middle ground. I got married fairly young, 22 to be exact. I was 28 weeks pregnant with my first child, my darling now 2 year old son Graham, when we celebrated our 2 year anniversary.

Getting pregnant proved to be very easy for us. Apparently we’re fertile people. We did what you’re supposed to do. I started feeling off, missed my period, peed on a stick, went to the doctor. Cuz, everyone goes to the doctor. They confirmed that I was about 7ish weeks (I think it was 6 weeks 5 days to be exact, but I’ve had two babies since then…) and made another appointment.

Graham’s pregnancy was very normal and run of the mill. I had morning sickness, I was tired, I felt like crap. All normal. I didn’t have a single issue really. I liked my OB, I figured he knew best for me and my pregnancy. It’s what they go to school for, right? So, when I was asked at my 39 week appointment if I want to schedule my induction for that weekend, when my doctor was working on call, I thought “Awesome! I’m huge and soooo over being pregnant!” So, I went in on a Saturday night at 39 weeks 4 days to start my induction. Long story short, despite consenting to every intervention offered, I managed to have a successful vaginal birth. I had a wonderful anesthesiologist who administered my epidural very well, I had wonderful L&D nurses who didn’t bruise me with the iv needles. My ob was great…he placed my son immediately on my belly after he was born to initiate breastfeeding and encouraged me to sleep with him right next to me to help facilitate breastfeeding. He even yelled at the nurse who offered me formula in the middle of the night despite having written instruction not to do so. All in all I had a very normal run of the mill hospital birth. Nothing traumatic, but (other than my beautiful son, of course!) nothing spectacular. I wasn’t shouting from the rooftops about how amazing the birth experience is.

Now, unfortunately, I am one of many women here in America who received an episiotomy during delivery. I also had a reaction to the epidural, complete with fever. Said fever caused aforementioned episiotomy to become infected. It would be nearly three months post birth before I allowed my husband touch me again. And, everytime we were intimate, I would cry from the pain for about 5 months after that. Sex wasn’t comfortable again until close to a year after my son was born. I’m still in shock that we got pregnant again so soon. Anyway, back to how I arrived at the decision to homebirth…

With the perineal pain and a study that was started to link pitocin to social disorders, I decided to research natural birth. I realized quickly that none of the OBs in my doctors office were natural birth friendly. This was very discouraging. As it turned out, non of the doctors that took my insurance were natural birth friendly. I decided to research my other options. I mean, I had met many many women who were having their babies in free standing birth centers and at home, so it must be safe right? In my research, I found that really there isn’t much of a difference between birth center birth and home birth. Basically, a birth center is just having a home birth in someone else’s home. And, for $1,500 more. In the process of researching, I started feeling “off” again. I peed on a stick and found out that I was indeed pregnant again. I had already decided, I was going to be one of those CRAZY people who had their babies at home. It was happening this way, no ifs ands or buts about it. I mean, I’m the one pushing the baby out of my orifice, not anyone else! It took A LOT of convincing to get my husband to interview the midwife I had decided on with me. He got to ask all of his questions and decided he felt comfortable enough to go ahead and make my first prenatal appointment with her. His parents were nervous about it, my mom tried to talk me out of it for months. My dad is still pretty much “You’ve got to be kidding me about it.” Eh…whatever. Lets just say, there wasn’t much support, other than “I’m ‘letting’ you do this…” at the beginning of every argument with my husband, through out my pregnancy. I think every fight we got into had that line in there somewhere all the way up until the last disagreement we had before I delivered. I found myself reaching out on the internet for support. I’m glad I had people I had met on DFW area moms and the facebook group An EDD is and ESTIMATED due date, NOT an expiration date to turn to when too much doubt was creeping in. I’m also thankful Stefani started her journey to a natural childbirth shortly after I stated mine. This pregnancy started out much easier than Grahams. I was hardly ever nauseous, and I didn’t lose count of the times I vomited (only 18…which compared to Graham’s pregnancy is not a lot at all!). I was extremely surprised, and Josh (my husband) was extremely grateful for my increase in sex drive in my second trimester too. Then, along came my third trimester…

I’ll go ahead and start my birth story, since I was in labor for about half of the third trimester. I started having constant hip pain around 28 weeks. Even regular chiropractic visits couldn’t keep the pain away. I was having a hard time walk, picking up toys, I couldn’t lay on my left side. Yeah, it sucked. Then, I hit 35 weeks exactly. Late in the evening I began to have regular contractions at my parent’s house. They got to the point of 10 minutes apart and continued for about 2 hours. I texted my midwife who told me to drink water, eat some protein, and put my feet up. I did those things and they began to taper off and eventually stop. This became a daily occurrence until the day my daughter was finally born. I nearly lost it…many times. I cried on a daily basis, prayed, reached out to people who may have been in this position before. It was hard…REALLY hard. At 38 weeks I started doing things to try to make these “fake” contractions turn into “real” ones. Nothing worked…Thanksgiving, my due date, came and went with me still pregnant. I went ahead and black Friday shopped, hoping to walk my baby out. Sadly, it didn’t happen. The Sunday following, I thought I was finally in labor, but it turned out to be a false alarm. I was extremely discouraged, upset, and just overall pretty defeated at this point. I had my 41 week appointment the Monday following Thanksgiving, at 40 weeks 4 days. My husband, son, and I then went to lunch at IHOP. During my sons nap, I went for another adjustment at the chiropractor, and then when I got home the three of us went to Buffalo Wild Wings. In one last attempt to move things along, I ordered hot bbq wings. We then went bowling. It was a fun evening…and our last one as a family of 3.

I went to bed that night around midnight. I was awakened by the contractions around 4:30am. They weren’t super painful, but they were different. I was able to kind of sleep through them though, so I was in denial still. At 6:30, I could no longer sleep through them. I got in my bath tub to deal with the intensity. I woke Josh up at about 7:30 with my moaning, assuring him that it can’t possibly be the real deal. Good thing he didn’t believe me. He went ahead and called the midwife, his mom, my mom, and our friend Melissa. Melissa was going to watch Graham for us, since my false alarm had upset him. When my midwife got there, she checked me, and I was sad to hear that I was only at a 2, but I reminded myself that that was still progress. We turned on my birthing CDs to help me relax so my cervix would continue to open. I was still handling labor very well at this point. I was staying on top of my pain with the breathing and my moaning. Then, all of the sudden, the breaks between my contractions just kinda stopped. We figured I was probably in transition at this point, so my midwife checked me again. I was only at a 5. This is when we remembered to call Stefani. She was going to be taking pictures and getting the “natural birth experience.”

We could tell my daughter wasn’t positioned very well, so we started doing weird, very not fun, positions during contractions to try to get her to move. After about an hour or so of this, my midwife asked if she could check me during a contraction. I didn’t think it sounded very much fun, but I let her. As it turned out, my cervix was dilated to a 9 during my contractions, but due to my daughters positioning, it wasn’t staying dilated after the contraction was over. About 45 minutes or so into my 3+ hour transition (yes, sometimes transition lasts for a LONG time…) I turned off my relaxation CDs because they were just making me mad. Losing control, screaming, and crying were my new coping methods.

Many times I found myself crying that I couldn’t do it and asking god to help. My midwife would then inform me that I could, and I was. My response was ok…and then when a contraction would end I’d ask Josh if he was ok.

After laboring out of the birthing tub for several hours, I asked if we could warm it up so I could get back in. At the end of the first contraction back in the birthing tub, I felt the intense urge to bear down. This is when all the fun really started. My mom, mother-in-law, sister-in-law, and Stefani were all in my family room talking when all of the sudden they heard my vocalizations change. Stefani could tell I was pushing and came in to start capturing the moments. Everyone else decided they were going to come in and witness me giving birth as well. I tried pushing in a few different positions, but found that sitting while leaned back into my husband was the most comfortable and natural pushing position for me. I apparently made some interesting noises while pushing. My mom still talks about the other worldly moans that came out of her tiny daughter.

I remember when she started to crown, and they made a comment about seeing dark hair, so she must have dark hair. I decided, while pushing, to make a joke and yelled “So do I!!!!” At which point everyone laughed at me. If you can have someone to laugh at you while you’re being super ridiculous during your birth, it’ll help, I promise! I don’t remember how many pushes there were between that point and her head finally coming out, but I do remember feeling immensely relieved when I finally pushed her head out. I was about half way through one of those guttural roars when she popped out. That roar turned into the obvious “I have a baby!” statement. The next contraction I pushed her the rest of the way out and my midwife helped me pull her to my chest.

I was balling, so emotional and in shock. I couldn’t believe it so I had to say it. “I just had a baby at home!” through my tears of joy. It was exhilarating…to have been in so much pain, to feeling nothing but joy. It’s a high I can’t describe in words. It’s something you just have to experience. It’s a feeling I didn’t have when my son was born. Don’t get me wrong. I love my baby boy. I was so happy when he was born, I cried tears of joy…I just didn’t have that ecstasy.

We got out of the tub to start drying ourselves off, I birthed the placenta on my own, with my beautiful Darci still attached to it. She was so wide awake and alert, it was amazing. While they’re checking me out, getting my herbal bath ready, and trying to get Darci to nurse (which she wouldn’t latch for 20 hours post birth), my husband, who was anything but supportive during pregnancy, told my midwife to have any husband not on board call him. To him there was no other way to have a baby now that he experienced the magic that is an all natural home birth. He was amazing too…he helped talk me through contractions, pressed on my back and butt to counter the pain. Yeah, I married a good one!

Darci and I had our herbal bath, and then it came time to check her out. I was in shocked when they weighed her. I had just pushed an 8lbs 14oz baby out. Yeah, all 5’2” of me was walking around with a nearly 9lb baby in my belly! After they had assured me that she was perfect, daddy got to dress his brand new baby girl. Stefani had to leave to get to her prenatal appointment before Graham came home. But, Graham was so excited to be home, but he was a little confused as to why mommy’s belly was smaller and squishy and why she was holding a baby.

He was a little unsure and had a rough time adjusting to her at first, but he’s now the best big brother. He loves her so much, and there’s almost nothing he can do to her that makes her upset. They’re beautiful together.

It didn’t take long after our daughters birth for us to start regretting not knowing all of our options the first time around. Sure, I wasn’t violated, I didn’t have a c-section, and nothing traumatic occurred during my sons birth, but he also didn’t get the warm, gentle, loving start in life that his sister did, and I will forever feel like I failed him in that respect. If you’re healthy and low risk, see a midwife. I PROMISE you won’t regret it. And if a HUGE wuss like me can pushed a nearly 9lbs baby out of her vag, anyone can! The few hours of pain are well worth it!

Lately, I’ve been talking a lot about VBACs among my friends, and clients.  It seems that so many people are experiencing a c-section in their first birth (some second), due to a variety of reasons.. breech babies, failure to progress, failed induction, etc.  Some wish they were more informed going into their first birth – I know I wish I was more informed!

Here is some of the information I have gathered the past few weeks to help aide my friends & clients in making the right decision for them.

The biggest concern that I have heard from friends is:  “Did you worry about uterine rupture?”  For me, never.  The thought never crossed my mind during pregnancy or labor.  I delivered my 9lb daughter at 42weeks & again, never thought twice about uterine rupture.  Now, that’s not to say that it DOESN’T happen.. but the chances were low enough that it was not on my mind.  We did have an emergency plan in place – in the event of rupture.
Here is a great read that kinda puts it all in perspective: http://midwifethinking.com/2011/02/23/vbac-making-a-mountain-out-of-a-molehill/
And if you do find yourself debating a VBAC with an OBGYN, do you research.
Here are some great guidelines to follow:  http://icanofdupagecounty.club.officelive.com/ProVBACProviders.aspx

For me, I didn’t want to even risk the chance of induction with an OBGYN, so I decided to have a natural birth with a Midwife where I knew I would be allowed to go to post dates.  I knew she wouldn’t induce me And she had the same philosophy on birth that I did.

Most of all – go into your VBAC educated.  Ask questions, get the answers you deserve.

December 10th, 2006 – There it was staring me in the face.  My very first positive pregnancy test.  We had been married a mere 3 months, but had planned this baby down to astrological sign!  I wanted a Leo baby!  I was due August 17, 2007.  Within a few weeks, we had an OBGYN, names for a boy & girl.. and ready for our first hospital birth.

Seeing our little blob on the screen for the first time made that whole morning sickness thing totally worth every meal wasted.

I was uneducated about birth, labor, inductions, breastfeeding.  I knew I wanted a hospital birth because I really had no knowledge of what a birth center was.  I had heard of a doula one time on Dharma & Greg, and I won’t even embarrass myself to explain what I *thought* it was .  I did know – we would breastfeed.  And, I did NOT want a c-section.  I figured they were mostly done for you know.. breech babies.  And MY baby was always head down!  So, I’m totally getting the birth experience!  Yeah!

40 weeks came & went..
My OBGYN set up our induction for 40w6d.  The day after my birthday. Wait, what?  This is NOT what I wanted.  Where is my Leo baby?  I’m now going to get a VIRGO!!!  And the day after MY birthday?!  Okay, fine..   my blood pressure was high, I had cankles since I was 14 weeks along, and I was D.O.N.E.

8am, pitocin hooked up, and we were off.  And we sat.  and sat.  and sat…
My daughters heart rate went from 150bpm to 55bpm.  Oh no. This is NOT good.  I changed positions, kicked everyone out of the room, hoped for the best.  I mean.. she will get better, right?  I better get that epidural because WOW this is not comfortable.  And women do this naturally?  Pssh, not me..
Three epidurals later.. I still feel all contractions.  It wasn’t working.  And her heart rate was still erratic.

6:15pm.. “Let’s prep her for cesarean, we need to save this baby.”

Those awful awful words no woman should EVER have to hear.

Within minutes, my room was filled my family to say a  final word to me before I was to be wheeled off to the OR.  I cried, they cried, I was NOT prepared to have a major abdominal surgery.  They assured me it was the best option for me and the baby.  But really, was it?

They tried a spinal block, and I could feel EVERYTHING.  I bawled my eyes out.  “Here’s a mask, we are going to have to put you under.”  I cried.. and an hour later woke up in a recovery room.  Where was I, and who the heck is this nurse staring at me?!

My first image of my perfect little girl  -was on my husbands cell phone.  All I could mutter was “She is precious.”
I finally met that precious 7lb 1oz baby 2 hours later… she had a great set of lungs on her.  She was hungry!  Thank goodness, breastfeeding went well for us.  Our breastfeeding journey continued till her 3rd birthday.

I was upset, angry, confused at why I had a cesarean.  Women have successful hospital births all the time – why not me?

That’s when I educated myself & became an activist for myself.

When we decided to TTC for our second child, I went in packed with knowledge.  I knew I needed:  A midwife, & a birth center (water birth? yes please!).. just to have this baby vaginally after my cesarean.  The idea of even stepping foot in a hospital made me want to scream.

January 26, 2011 we welcomed our second daughter .  She was my successful 9lb VBAC baby.  Born naturally, into the water, with an amazing birth team surrounding me while I achieved my dream at exactly 42 weeks gestation.

We cloth diaper exclusively, breastfeed on demand, and my goal is for all women to get the birth they WANT and DESERVE.  To be educated about birth options, and know they have a CHOICE.